Dienstag, 19. Mai 2015

secret recipe to be whole and happy

Gelesen


  • Step one: Find the darkness. On your  hands and knees in the "closet of you". Crawling through, stretching in the clutter, starting with the real uglies: regret, childhood misbeliefs, shame, fear, self-loathing, broken heart remnants, doubts, fucking pain-soaked memories of harm I've caused, limiting thoughts....etc. Each one, I pitch over my shoulder into a pile. 

  • Step two:  Set that shitty hot mess of meaningless burden on FIRE!!! Light that heaping, stinking, bleeding, smelly pile. BURN IT and mourn. Cry, scream, dance, whatever must happen, let it. It's an ending. Forever. Be done with all of it. Choose finality. 

  • Step three: Go back into the closet of you, and find these things:  deep kindness, compassion, self-love, gratitude, memories of laughing and helping others, beautiful words of advice you received, your empathy, your innate goodness and shimmering un-jaded childhood smile. Handle these things with the delicacy of finding old music boxes, trinkets and old pictures. Pile them as well, in order or abstractly. Lastly, reach for  far, fingers shaking with strain to find that childlike self-awe, it shines orb-like, gold-speckled and full of light. It's that child in you that screamed: 'I DID IT!" or "I'm da BESTEST!" as my toddler son does. ( Or my totally self-secure and self-loving five year old) Hold it, stare in it to see the self-pride and deep belief of your worthiness through innocence child-eyes.

  • Step four: ILLUMINATE that pile. Light it from the inside out with all the brightest, warmest, energy you can summon. Let it flow like a tidal wave of sunshine, dense and covering everything, filling you up from tingly-top of head, to the outer edges of your toes. Beam, beam, beam in THESE things that already existed. That make you YOU. ( not the forgone ashes from the fire burnt earlier in this process, not even the smoke of that toxic mess can compete with this glow)
     
  • Step five: STAY HERE.  Learn it. BE IT. This is loving you WHOLLY. From this place, and this place only can you give...and here is the POINT. You can give without causing deficit to yourself. I'll say it again. YOU CAN GIVE WITHOUT DEFICIT TO YOURSELF. There is a huge difference. This wholeness gives because it has to, needs to, for it has everything it needs. YOU are everything you need. The beauty and gift of giving...love, help, yourself, advice, time...ADDS to your beam. It comes from purity, and no expectation or measure. 

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